i feel so alone and so helpless. riley started crying tonight on the way to my moms because she misses ryan. she said shes worried about him because hes alone and hes her best friend. and i just feel so bad. i know she misses him. and honestly i miss him too.
i dont wanna miss him. i dont wanna still love him, but i do. i cant go back to him though. but i want to. i want him so badly. i want him to come back and tell me hes sorry for everything and that he still loves me and still wants our little family. and i would be so stupid and take him back. but that wont happen. it cant. i miss him so bad.
i just want someone to love me. i wanna feel loved. i wanna feel like im special and that someone cares enough about me to be with me and love me for who i am. i just need a friend right now.
i cant stop crying. during the day im fine. but as soon as its dark, i cant stop the tears. i wanna call him and tell him i miss him. but all he would do is tell me im stupid and he doesnt want me.
i cant stop thinking about him. every time i see him i wanna cry. every time i see him, i see them together, and it makes me to angry. and it makes me feel so worthless.
i wish i had a close guy friend right now that would hug me and tell me its ok. tell me i was worth so much more than i let myself be, and just hold me and let me cry until i felt better.